Tracy’s blog

Can you feel the love tonight?

16 hours ago
5 comments

Why would someone visit 95 pages of my blog in 40 minutes? The pages were visited too quickly to be "read" so they were either emailed or printed or something.

.

Here are a few reasons why he or she may be printing out pages from my blog:

1. Ran out of toilet paper.

2. Wants to make a scrap book for me and the boys.

3. Is bringing my blog to a publisher to have my work made into a book or a Lifetime movie.

4. Is providing reading material for the homeless.

5. Collecting evidence to be used against me in a court of law.

Hmmmm. Anyone have any guesses?

Pee-pee in the potty!

3 days ago
3 comments

**Disclaimer: The following blog is full of parent pride. It may cause boredom, sleepiness and/or nausea and vomiting. It will most likely cause wonder as to why someone would bother to blog about this. **

A few weeks ago I attempted to potty train Liam and it was a disaster. We tried for a few days and he just wasn't into it. He would look right at me, say he didn't need to use the potty and then pee in his pants. I didn't want to give up too easily, as it would just teach him that he could give up easily too, but I also have never been one to push potty training. I think so much harm is caused by parents who want their kid potty trained before the kid is ready. And really, people, have you ever seen a developmentally "normal" 15 year old in diapers? Kids learn to use the potty WHEN they're ready. It's the one thing we, as parents, can't control, so why try so hard? We quit after a few days and he was bit sad to not wear big boy undies, but I told him that they are for big boys who use the potty. I told him if he wanted to start using the potty, I would put him in big boy undies.

Well, yesterday, out of nowhere, he decided to take off his diaper and pee in the potty. I was in there, watching him, thinking he just wanted to play in the toilet, but No! He was all business. I think peeing in there scared/surprised him because he jumped and stopped peeing for a minute.

Today, again, he took off his diaper and went pee-pee in the potty! YAY. I told him if he can keep this up, he can wear big boy undies. He is so proud of himself and the cutest thing is that his brothers are proud of him too. Cade and Nolie dance around with me and sing "pee-pee in the potty!" and do our big boy chant with grins on their faces as big as mine. I love how proud of him they are. Cade keeps rubbing his back, telling him he's going to be a big boy now.

I just hope he keeps this up. It would be SO nice to not have to buy diapers anymore. I am down to my last 5 or so diapers and would LOVE it if I never had to buy another pack again.

Things I've learned after miles and miles on a motorcycle

4 days ago
8 comments

Not that I would consider myself an experienced motorcycle rider by any means, but after putting about 450 miles on the bike with 2 road trips, I feel I have enough experience to offer these helpful tips/words of advice/rules to live by.

After driving both country and city roads, I have the following advice to offer.

Country Roads: They are fun, lots of nice scenery, you can go as fast as you please, no traffic, no stopping, BUT I caution you on the following:

Bugs-It doesn't matter if it's a gnat, a bee or a butterfly...when you meet one going 60 mph, you WILL be hurt. Your forehead becomes a deadly weapon and bugs "bleed" all kinds of colors. If you don't believe me, check the face of your local biker OR go check the grill of your car. Red, yellow, green, black....it all hits your face with a big SMACK.

Helmets with face shields would solve this issue.

Rocks-those little EFFERS hurt too. Be especially conscious of your shins and knees. For some reason, rocks gravitate towards those areas. I would advise knee/shin pad. Hell, I see why people wear chaps. For reals.

Dead Carcasses on the Road-these are HAZARDS. You need to avoid them like the plague. Even though they are already dead they still impose disaster. You DO NOT want to ride over them, near them or next to a car that has just re-carcassed them. Dead Carcass splatter is not your friend.

Semi-Trucks- When passing semi trucks which are going 80 mph on county roads while you are going 80 mph, be ready for a g-force that will make you pee your pants and suck away your breath. You will feel as if the bike and you have stopped moving for a moment, when in reality, the wind is just hitting you so hard you black out.

City Roads-it's nice because there is lots to look at. Many people, many things. You do have to be prepared for the following:

Sudden stops: Idiot drivers who DO NOT see motorcycles. There are many out there. They will cut you off, ride your ass or just plain frighten you. Hearing the sound of a car coming up on your motorcycle ass is something you will NEVER get used to.

Pot holes/ huge-ass cracks (WTF are those from anyway?) Minnesota roads are full of dangerous pot holes that can make you lose your teeth fillings. Try not to clench your jaw or have your tongue in your teeth while going on Highway 94. The large ass cracks will make you fly off the back of the bike. Do NOT be cocky and try to not hang on to the driver....this could cost you your life.

Apparel: I would highly recommend a safety helmet. Not only because your brains can and will splatter on the road, but also because it can help hold your hair in place. Trust me, I wanted my hair to blow in the wind, but after about 2 hours on the bike, no wind could even get through my hair....it was one big tangle and took FOREVER to get out.

Long sleeved shirt/pants. Because of the rock/bug situations mentioned above, I suggest wearing clothing that covers your entire body. However, avoid wearing a hoodie with draw strings at all costs. When at maximum speed, the hood will wrap around your neck, simulating a noose while the draw strings pelt your face and eyes like tiny little toothpicks.

Boots or shoes with no shoe strings: When you're doing 80 down a country road, it is NO time to look down and see your shoe string untied. You will either feverishly think of ways to tie it, even contemplating raising your leg to your face or the face of your driver as to bring attention to said shoe string or imagine ways in which the wiley shoe string will become hooked or fastened to passing cars or semis causing your untimely death.

Tan lines: While this may seem shallow, both rider and driver need to be aware of the sun and any unsightly tan lines that may appear. Driving all day with long sleeved shirt and no gloves=tan hands, white arms, for example.

Secrets that Motorcyclists don't want you to know:

When approaching another motorcyclist, you must wave, nod your head, smile or perform some other act of acknowledgement. It's a secret brotherhood that I am hoping to transfer to other drivers on the road. For example, I drive a Ford Taurus. So, from now on, with every other bitchin' Ford Taurus that I see, I am going to acknowledge the driver and have a common bond with other Taurus drivers. I will also shout out "NICE TAURUS!" if I am parked next to my Taurus and another one drives by.

Cops/ Sheriffs will also wave at you. This happens more in small towns and I think it's a matter of them waving at you, hoping they're not scraping you off the highway when wifey wants them home for dinner than it is a matter of courtesy, but because of the number of instances, this could not be avoided in my report.

Inexperienced riders may feel their ass cheeks and legs cramp up on them after 100 or so miles. While this may set you in a panic, cause you to actually look back, expecting to find your ass on the road behind you, it is nothing that a little pit stop with ice cream and then future nap cannot resolve.

Riders- if you want the driver to slow down or want to caution them to something, gently squeezing your legs against their hips will gain their attention. However, after a few hours of feeling your squeezes, they may become accustomed to them. I advise that you reach around and perform a cock grab. This will get their attention and cause them to pay more attention. At the next stop, they will question you on the cock grab...simply explain that you thought you were pulling the emergency break.

The bugs in your teeth, tangled hair, tan lines and lost tooth fillings are SO worth the ride. The feeling of flying and freedom while on a motorcycle is something that cannot be explained or duplicated.

I feel bad...should I or shouldn't I?

4 days ago
2 comments

Okay-so after riding on the bike ALLLLLL day, we were not feeling so well so we got in my car and made a quick trip the local Walgreens, which happens to be by my old house. I thought for shits and giggles we'd drive past it. So we did and had REALLY bad timing and were driving by as Baloney, girlfriend and kids were getting out of the SUV. In my defense and to appear less stalkerish, as far as I knew, Daddy and the boys were spending the night at Grandma and Grandpas, so I didn't think anyone would be home and we could drive by and look at the old place without incidence.

Can we say awkward?

It was late, like 9:30 and I thought they were spending the night at Grandma and Grandpas....hmmmm. So I waved awkwardly and then called Baloney to see if he wanted me to get the boys. I naively thought maybe something came up or plans changed or whatever, so maybe he would want me to get the boys. I asked him about Grandma and Grandpas and that's when it hit me....he never really planned on going there. He was just lying so the boys could spend the night at his house. He said Wendy would wait with them until Grandma came to pick them up and bring them home to me.

Uhhh, isn't that a little much? All that trouble to avoid me finding out what I already knew? Your girlfriend is living with you and you're a big, fat liar? If that was the plan all along, be honest. I wouldn't have stopped you. I can't.

Baloney said I could come get the boys, I seriously wasn't angry or anything, I just thought it'd be easier than inconveniencing Wendy, my ex-mother-in-law and the boys.

When I picked them up, the boys didn't cry. Nolie said he didn't have fun because he didn't get to ride his bike and he was tired. They clearly had fun though, and told me about swimming and smores, but they seemed tired and ready to go to bed. Nobody pitched a fit about leaving. I had hyped them up about having a sleep over with Grandma and Grandpa, so maybe they were confused too?

I feel bad though. I feel like I stole them from Baloney. Should I? He was just going to go to bed and so were they and then he wouldn't have seen them in the morning anyway. But I still feel like I ripped him out of seeing his kids. I guess I need to remember too, though that he could have seen them last night, had them over night then and into today, but that would have been ripping into Bunco night at the local bar...and why would he do THAT?

I was trying to be helpful and I really thought it'd be easier. I feel horrible though.

Blah, Blah, Blah....more randomness

5 days ago
1 comment

I don't have anything to write about, but haven't updated for a few days and thought ya'll might start wondering if I am dead. Well, I am not. Lucky you. Here's a bit of Becker Randomness on this fine Friday.

1. Tony's taking the boys today. Any minute they should be heading out, I think. They're so excited, they've had their shoes on and have been carrying their deetees (blankets) around since they woke up. They're having a sleep over at Grandma and Grandpas. Not sure what that's all about, but I'm guessing since Tony works early in the AM, they're sleeping there so they can watch them after Tony goes to work. Makes me happy. They'll get to see G&G and have fun with Daddy.

2. Since the boys will be gone, I will be too. It's depressing sitting here without the boys. Don't get me wrong, I welcome the break, but I like to do something so I am not sitting here looking at their un-played with toys. My friend Ryne and I are going on a bike ride. I think we'll head down to Red Wing and have lunch or something.

3. I gave the kids animal crackers/cookies for breakfast. In my defense, I offered something better but they didn't want it and since I won't have to deal with the sugar high....why not.

4. Transformers are the new big thing around here. I was always afraid that I wouldn't have anything in common with my boys, because well, I am a girly girl and they are PURE boy. I worried about this especially after I left Baloney. The boys would be stuck with me, a girl who would rather play tea party than monster trucks, but that's not true. I have learned to love transformers, trucks and wrestling (not TV wrestling, but wrestling on the floor). I think I love these things because I see the joy it brings to the boys and it's hard to NOT love something that makes them so happy. My boys also like to do creative things like draw, paint and color, so the balance does help.

5. With my "mom's" money, the boys and I went to Chuck E Cheese for pizza and fun and then I bought them little transformers too. Transformers are crazy expensive.

Ooooh, gotta go!

I'll change your diapers and never complain.

Jul 15, 2008
3 comments

My parents are the best. My mom called me last night to find out how the Dr appt went and then told me she wanted me to go get another check up because I'm losing so much hair (and weight, although I am not complaining about that!) and she offered to pay for it. We'll see if I take her up on that, I am kind of sick of doctors at the moment. Then she called back a little later and said she had extra money at home, so she's giving me $50 bucks to do something fun with the boys. WHAT? She said she doesn't want to be paid back, it's extra money she has and she wants me and the boys to enjoy life. Little does she know that I put that money in the bank so I won't bounce the Urologist co-pay check I wrote out yesterday, but I do promise to spend money on the boys when I get paid on Thursday. I think we'll go to Chuck E Cheese. :)

When I picked up the boys today, I also picked up a car with a full tank of gas! I leave the car with my Dad every Tuesday because it's easier to switch cars than carseats and he takes the boys out for breakfast every week. I called him to tell him he was a stinker and he pretended to not know what I was talking about. Then he said he loved me and hung up.

I don't know what I can do to pay back my parents for everything. It's not just the money, but the emotional support and free day care and love they give to me and my kids that I can't pay back. Maybe if I promise to change their diapers when they're old, keep them out of nursing homes and never complain they'll realize how much they mean to me.

It's not a tumor!

Jul 14, 2008

Blechy, Blech. I am back from the urologist and am in more pain than when I went in! She did a scope of my urethra and bladder which is definitely something they should knock you out for. Wait... it wasn't that bad during the procedure, I mean it hurt, but I gave birth with no pain meds so I could handle it, but the pain afterwards SUCKS. This is when I should be knocked out. Or sent home with a nice morphine drip. Or a cocktail of Vicodin and Tom Collins. AND a babysitter so I can take a nappy.

She said she thinks I HAD a stone in my Urethra. The scan that I had just showed from my kidneys to my bladder and not the bladder out, so she's guessing a stone lodged in there. I know she's right because I know when Liam dislodged it. He has done this twice to me, both time I had stones he's pressed on my belly and caused pain. Once to let me know I had a stone and now this time to get it out. I know for certain he dislodged it this time because I remember him halfway jumping on me and I felt a shooting pain....but was able to pee easier after that. I am still in pain, but not nearly as much, and she said that's because it was lodged there and irritated the Urethra. I have some of those lovely analgesics for the bladder again and have to go back in a few weeks to make sure all is better.

So, now I just bounced a $40 check to the Urologist when my 3 year old pretty much took care of the problem.

GREAT!!

QotD: It's Monday Already?

Jul 14, 2008
1 comment

What was the best thing about your weekend?
Uhhh, that it ended? I know I am terrible because EVERYBODY loves the weekends, but I guess they don't make a difference to me. I only work 3 days a week, one of them being Sundays, so I don't really have a special affection towards the weekends.
This one was extremely boring because we had nothing to do, nobody to do it with and and no money to spend. We did go to a graduation party for a few hours on Saturday, but again, it wasn't anything too exciting for me. I pretty much spent the whole weekend listening to my neighbors have sex. Yes, seriously. I think they're on some kind of sex marathon or something. I probably shouldn't talk about something so personal about people I don't even know, but when you have the kind of loud sex they have, as many times as they have it, it warrants being talked about. If they didn't want the whole apartment building (and internet via me) to know they knock boots like bunny rabbits then they could tone it down a bit. I seriously wanted to pound on the ceiling this morning and ask them to make love instead of fuck. What's wrong with some QUIET romance? I'm worried about their relationship. It's always very aggressive and loud...whether they're loving or fighting.

ANYWAY-today I have my appointment with the Urologist. My gut says she'll find nothing wrong with me and I'll look like a hypo. I think I'll cry if that happens. A broke mom of 3 boys doesn't spend $100+ dollars on doctor appointments and prescriptions because she's faking. Not that I want anything seriously wrong with me, because I don't, but I need validation at this point that I am not crazy. I am not sure if the Urologist is the correct Doctor for that diagnosis, but I'll take what I can get.

Oh, what a night!

Jul 13, 2008
2 comments

Mama had a rough night last night. The boys and I went to a cousin's graduation party, but I was on-call so we came home relatively early. We got home at about 10:30, I think. I forgot my book with the worksheets I needed to fill out, so I was praying nobody would call until I got home. As my rotten luck would have it, I got a call at the party. It ended up being a simple question, so I didn't need my worksheets or my resources. WHEW.

When we got home, we weren't even in the door 5 minutes and my phone was ringing. This time it was the police with a domestic, so I was thanking God I was at home and had my book with me!! It was a double victim situation where the guy was after his wife and her father. Actually, the wife was pregnant, so in my opinion, it should have counted as 3 victims, but I'll let the courts deal with that.

I went to bed at about 11:30 and couldn't sleep. Finally fell asleep to be woken up at about 1:45 by my upstairs neighbors having loud, passionate sex. They drive me nuts. They did this last Saturday too and I wanted to kill them then. The woman screams so loudly that she wakes up her kids and they have to stop so she can put them back to bed! You think that'd be her first clue to tone it down. I swear to God for Christmas, I will buy them some WD-40 with a nice red bow on it. I'll leave it at their door with a note telling them may their Holiday Season be filled with QUIET love and joy.

Their romp was interrupted by another call from the police. This one was a scary one where the guy had a knife and actually cut the woman. I hate the ones where they're really violent. I can't get back to sleep after them. It didn't help that the neighbors were STILL having sex. 15 minutes on the phone, writing paper work, calling it in and I go back to bed and have to listen to more squeaking and "yes, fuck me". Seriously, lady, get more creative with your bedroom talk!

I ended up not falling back to sleep until about 4-4:30 in the morning. After the mind-blowing sex, the neighbors decided they needed to fight too. Let's just make it a domestic night all around me. He kept calling her fucking stupid and hollering at her. I seriously am waiting for the police to call me on a domestic with the neighbors. They need one and I would be more than happy to fill out a report on that asshole.

I am super tired today but the boys are already begging me to do something fun. Fun....as in a family nap? No such luck!

Ahhh, a little help from our friends!

Jul 11, 2008
4 comments

The Becker Boys and I were supposed to have a play date today that was about 45 minutes-1 hour away and I just couldn't waste the gas going out there so we had cancel. I was bummed and so were the boys because they were really looking forward to swimming and playing with some friends.

Krissy and her boys pulled through and we ended up going over there for the afternoon. Krissy lives about 5 minutes from us so it was perfect...well aside from the $5 parking fee she charges. :)

The boys had such a fun day. Krissy set up the kiddy pool in the backyard and they just bought this huge swing set to play on. I think it was like a mini-ValleyFair for my boys. They had a blast!!

I had fun too. Krissy and I sat out, burning ourselves alive, talking about boys and what jerks they are (for the record, Jake, nothing but nice things were said about you! LOL). It kind of reminded me of high school! HAHA. Well, except that we couldn't close our eyes for a second because of the kidlets in the pool. I am nice and toasty red. Melanoma, here I come.

I think it was just what the Doctor had ordered. I have been pretty depressed this week, but hanging out with my BFF is like a magic pill. Laughing with her always makes me happy. I hope I kept her entertained, although I did get a bazillion text messages while I was there. She asked if my phone was always that busy, and then said I was addicted. I think she wanted to kill me....but it wasn't my fault, 4 different people decided to text me today....it was a busy day!

Anyway, Krissy and boys...thanks for the fun. We enjoyed and appreciated every moment of it. We do have to do this more often, like we said. Next time, we'll bring the food!!